Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have aggressive nipples.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
