he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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