Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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