Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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