I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
