My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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