I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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