I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
