That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
