she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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