It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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