$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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