if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
