There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
