Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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