I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
