That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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