all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
