Whod you bang
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
