she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
so much tequila, so little girl.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
