Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
