i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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