She is in my trunk
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
