So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
