New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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