I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
are you so shy because you have an std?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
