Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
