oh god the rape fog is back!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
