I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
