So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
