that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize