We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
