I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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