Betty ford says i'm here all night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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