i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
