Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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