The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
