Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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