so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
