apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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