I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
