In the future we'll all be gay
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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