i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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