But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm going to jail i love you
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
