I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Is Oprah even human
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
