Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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