Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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