Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
