His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
