Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize