There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
