The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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