I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
operation harelip BJ is a go
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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