He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
