And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
