I'm eating all of the evidence.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
