His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
