I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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