the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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