I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
