THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
