Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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