apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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